Kya baat hai!

From ‘Mumbai Mirror’ dated 22 August 2005

Mumbai Mirror reader Nargis Natarajan delights over the mish-mash of Hindi and English that spices up street lingo

This morning our driver suddenly announced -- 'Humko holiday chahiye. Hamara ghar mein aaj 'off' ho gaya'. He was referring to what has now become a common occurrence in Mumbai -- the sudden failure of electricity. However, it seemed a little odd that he wanted a day off for a matter as mundane as that. When I communicated this to my husband, who had spent two extra months in the city over me, and hence was more familiar with the Mumbaiya dialect, he decided to probe further. The driver's subsequent reply brought to my mind a popular old number -- 'Main bambai ka babu/ naam mera anjaana/ English dhun mein gaaun/ Main hindustaani gaana.'

This strange style of embroidering lacey angrezi words into our chaste desi tongues is a common practice. Many however feel it can be appreciated the most only when used sparingly. But it is really not that jarring either - even if it does create a total hash of the Queen's language. On the contrary, it often sounds quite charming - sometimes turning so ticklish that you dissolve into a profusion of tears-tears of laughter.

In Hyderabad, where we recently came from, 'beech beech mein touch karte rahna' is just a pert way of saying 'Keep in touch'. So when my husband's former clerk assured him that on his next trip to Mumbai 'main Madam ko zaroor touch karoonga', there was no reason to be scandalised. In Orissa, if one is pestered by a hawker to buy 'time pass' it only means he is trying to help you kill boredom by selling a packet of peanuts -- the best way to pass time. In Nagpur, a board outside a mechanic's shop stating 'Tyre Puncture Here' does not necessarily mean that tyres are punctured there but that it is a place to fix punctured tyres. Anywhere else in India, If I come across signs that say 'Hole chicken' sold here, or 'Please through in the dustbin' or 'Cheek your belongings before living in the autorickshaw' I simply let my imagination take over and fill in the blanks.

Recently], on a train journey, I came across a hawker shouting 'Coffiness, coffiness'. I have heard of 'haziness, dizziness and even laziness but what crazy 'ness' what this? I spent a long time trying to figure it out. And then gave up and decided to ask him to explain. He simply held out a cup of coffee. While on a tour in Ludhiana, my son came across a sign in a dhaba that read 'Child Bear' sold here. As he wondered whether a child that looked like a bear or a bear that looked like a child was being auctioned off, his attention was caught by the bottles of 'Chilled Beer' on display.

I appreciate this naiveté of our countrymen for two reasons: It denotes an 'I knows English too' uplifting attitude of the unlettered and it is a projection of their simplicity. As plain as that!

Now, back to our driver and his version of 'Off'. Turned out he wasn't referring to a power failure after all. he used the expression to indicate that someone had died in his household. However, the 'hindustani gaanas' that are sung in an 'English dhun' are not the sole preserve of the 'bambai ka babus'. The whole of India is infected with it.