People in Glass Houses………….

Potayto- Potaato, it does not really matter. But the subtle connotation of Aparna-Ajay Mafatlal does matter. Because here the accent is not on diction but a human being - on someone who chose to ignore the dictums of society to simply follow the dictates of the heart. The heart-rending story of Ajay Mafatlal may or may not strike a chord in every heart. But for some it does because it effectively mirrors the perplexing emotions of a transsexual.

It is not our fault if we condemn such acts as outlandish or revolting. After all, we live in a world where ‘normal’ is a very conceptualised term. It denotes an unflawed physique, immaculate behaviour and scrupulous desires. A slight deviation from the normal is therefore abnormal. And this deformity, whether physical, mental or sexual, leads to either pity or shame. Pity is acceptable, as it promotes the sympathizer to the sublime level of a benefactor. Shame is not. Therefore we conveniently choose to ignore the mysterious and culpable half truths of humanity.

As a child, I grew up eluding them - those whom we called the Haan-jis. Draped in saris, they wore garish make up, always announcing their arrival with their profane acts of applauding god knows what. I searched in vain for those hushed answers that the world was so secretive about and the closest I could get was in a dictionary. It described a eunuch simply as an ineffective man. But another word caught my eye. “Ethics,” the word read- a code of behaviour that is considered correct and of the rules and the principles that ought to govern it. That set me thinking. Was it ethical to castigate someone simply because of their atypical urges? Was it ethical to stamp our blind approval with society just because we are expected to do so? Was it ethical to censure a breed for no fault of theirs? I did not think so. Since then, I have interpreted the applauses of the transvestites as nothing but a desperate sign for societal acceptance.

Times are definitely changing. Yet, not every transvestite is fortunate to be accepted by the style gurus of our society. Not every transsexual is privileged to undergo a sex change. Not every Aparna has the mettle to defy nature and emerge a victorious Ajay. This courageous act signals a breakdown in the social order which unfortunately not many are still willing to accept. However, the least we can do is to stop viewing the world through freak coloured glasses. No one is a flawless paragon of nature. No one’s cupboard is devoid of skeletons. And as far as vulnerability is concerned, all people live in glass houses. As such, none of us can really afford to throw stones.

Nargis Natarajan