THE LAWS OF ATTRACTION

 

 

                   Should there or should there not be a Uniform Civil code?

                   Should there or should there not be a Modest Dress code?

     While the former topic is controversial, may or may not be politically provoked and still generates public ire, the latter however is less contentious, morally motivated and yet spawns everybody’s interest. The politicians are interested because they feel the modern child’s dress code aids in the growth of criminal activities. The faculty is interested because they feel it is a serious distraction from studies. The parents are interested because it is a reflection of their upbringing. The child is interested because it is a violation of freedom. With everybody’s interest in mind, this article explores the foundation and the building up of the golden rule.

       To begin with, the interest of the politician (as always) is to distract the country from other pressing issues. It is ridiculous to even think that any form of dressing (or undressing) can instigate rape. If that were so, modesty within closed doors, would never be challenged. The aforesaid dastardly act is nothing but a condition of a perverted mind.

    The faculty interest (and rightly so) lies in the fact that the students come to college with a purpose in life. Educational institutions demand an exposure not of the body but of the mind. They are not menu cards where noodle or spaghetti straps can be displayed. They are not platforms for a beauty pageant where cleavages can be blatantly flaunted. These temples of learning demand concentration not distraction. Intellectual and not fashion statements should be made here. Fun and freedom can definitely be roped in but it does not necessarily demand a shedding of the robes too.    

        As regards the children, they are a confused lot. While some want to break free of restrictions by defying their parents, others unashamedly want to just ape the West. While some dress to attract attention and others to distract, many simply ape their friends. Yet all the time these young voices keep crying hoarse about eve teasing. Why give it a chance to flourish in the first place?

        The question here is not about the length of skirts, depth of necklines, width of jeans or the circumference of tank tops. It is also not about tradition or culture. Neither is it about modernity or free will. It is about indecency. There is a fine line between sensuality and vulgarity. There is a finer fascination in absolute mystery. But the finest appeal lies in a reserved dignity. The earlier a child understands this, the better.  

       Where the interest of the parent comes in, the topic becomes even more intriguing. And frustrating! While some parents may actually encourage their children to dress in a ‘modern’ way and some feign total indifference, others simply have no choice. Today’s parents are like a carriage drawn both ways- the children condemn them for being conservative and society condemns them for being too advanced. Forbidden fruits being tastier, the conservativeness of a parent is directly proportional to the stubbornness of the child. Permissible rules being simpler, the more demanding a child is the more defensive a parent becomes. 

     The modern generation is apprehensive of bans- especially those that are imposed on them. They feel nothing calls for a ban, especially not the inconsequential topic of mere attractions or distractions. There are a million ways a person can be attracted or distracted, they argue. Dressing or undressing need not be the only criteria. Can one ban a smile that distracts others? Can one ban a hairstyle that attracts others? Can one ban a special mannerism that distracts others? The queries are endless.

     But the older generation is wise. They are also an experienced lot. They are fully aware of the laws of attraction. Unlike a child, a parent knows and understands how different they are from the laws of distraction. While attraction keeps you focused on the person, appreciating every act, every gesture, every idea (no matter what the dress code), distraction takes your mind away. To a degenerating level, where focus from the personality starts to fade and thoughts begin to wander- in a more lascivious manner.

      We parents definitely want our children to be able to attract the opposite sex. We do want them to grow up in an uninhibited manner. We do want them to be accepted in the changing society as normal kids. We do want them to move along with time. But we are also apprehensive of certain distractions. If only the children understood these apprehensions. If only they could gauge the tacit difference between the two laws.              

Nargis Natarajan.