The
Rules of Bureaucracy
1. Preserve thyself.
2. It is easier to fix the blame than to fix the problem.
3. A penny saved is an oversight.
4. Information deteriorates upward.
5. The first 90% of the task takes 90% of the time; the last 10% takes the =
other
90%.
6. Experience is what you get just after you need it.
7. For any given large, complex, hard-to-understand, expensive problem, the=
re
exists at least one short, simple, easy, cheap wrong answer.
8. Anything that can be changed will be, until time runs out.
9. To err is human; to shrug is civil service.
10. There’s never enough time to do it right, but there’s always
enough time to do it over.
The Discovery of a New Element
Investigators at a major
research institution have discovered the heaviest element known to science.
This startling new discovery has been tentatively named Administratium
(Ad). This new element has no protons or electrons, thus
having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assista=
nt
neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an
atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is in=
ert.
However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes
into contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four =
days
to complete when it would normally take&nb=
sp;
less than a second. Administratium has a normal
half-life of approximately three years; it does not decay but instead under=
goes
a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange pla=
ces.
In fact, an Administratium sample’s mass =
will
actually increase over time, since with ea=
ch
reorganization some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming=
new
isotopes. This characteristic of moron promotion&=
nbsp;
leads some scientists to speculate that Adminis=
tratium
is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the
“Critical Morass”. You will kno=
w
it when you see it.