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The Humour Page

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Customer Care in 2020
From the Internet.

How Policies and Procedures Get Established
From the Internet.

The Rules of Bureaucracy
from http://www.pshrink.com/.

Corporate Lessons
From the Internet.

How to recruit the right person for the job
From the Internet.

Finance Related Humour
From morevalue.com.

What If Accountants Start Producing Movies
From the Internet

Automated Salary Review
Are you happy with your salary? No? Click on the link above to get an automated salary review.
Sent by Shri N.S.N. Murthy, FA&CAO(WST)/SCR.

This Delectable Habit of Joking
Contributed by Shri S.M. Singru.

Me and My Boss
From the Internet.

In Praise of Day Dozing
Contributed by Shri S.M. Singru, ex-FA&CAO/WR.

Voice Mail
Forwarded by Ms Vijayalakshmi Viswanathan, FC.

Sycophancitis
An article in The Hindustan Times, Delhi edition, of June 8, 2004.
Contributed by Shri Sudhir Mathur, EDA/RB.

Commonly Used Phrases at the Office.....and What they Really Mean
Contributed by Ms. Malabika G. Mohan, SrAFA/Finance/SCR.

The Future of Customer Service
Contributed by Shri Prakash Tendulkar, FA&CAO(C)/CR.

So you feel promotions should be quicker!
Contributed by Shri S.M. Singru.

23 March 2003
An article on the World Cup final by Shri S. Parthasarathy, FA&CAO/ICF.

Speaking of Talking
Contributed by Shri S.M.Singru, ex-FA&CAO/WR.

How Software Projects Are Managed
Contributed by Shri Prakash Tendulkar, FA&CAO/MTP/CR.

Who's Hu
Contributed by Shri C.S. Rao, FA&CAO/COFMOW.

Some Management Lessons

Customer & Help Desk - A Humourous Look
Contributed by Shri Prakash Tendulkar, FA&CAO/MTP/CR.

A Donkey Story
A take-off on the Enron Scam.

Good One --- Worth Reading
Contributed by Shri N. Krishnamurthi, FA&CAO/SCR.

Some Funny Pictures
Contributed by Shri Prakash Tendulkar, FA&CAO/MTP/CR.

Laughs From London
A regular column on humour by Shri S.M.Singru, retired FA&CAO/WR, presently in London. Please click on the links to the articles provided on this page.

Monkey Business
An Interesting Management Technique.
Contributed by Shri N.S.N.Murthy, DyCAO(G)/SCR.

Market Station - Railroad Jokes Section

Oh Office !
Some glimpses of the happenings in an office.
Contributed by Shri Prakash Tendulkar, FA&CAO/MTP/CR.

Some Jokes
Contributed by Shri Zaigham Ali Khan, ADAO/BCT/WR.

Each Profession Unto Itself.
Contributed by Shri N.S.N.Murthy, DyCAO/G/SCR.

New Discovery: Administratium.
Contributed by Ms. Vandana Nanda, FA&CAO/HQ/SER.

What Management offers and what it wants.
Contributed by Ms. Vandana Nanda, FA&CAO/HQ/SER.

When the taxman comes calling
Contributed by Shri Parimal Kasliwal, SrDAO/RJT/WR.

The next time your boss praises you.....click here to find out what he/she means.
Contributed by Shri N. Krishnamurthi, FA&CAO/SCR.

Without Comment
Cover Page of The Economist - Issue dated February 9th-15th 2002
Cover Page of The Economist - Issue dated February 9th-15th 2002

Andy wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector puts this question to him: "What would you do if you realised that 2 trains were heading for each other on the same track?"
Andy says,"I would switch the points for one of the trains."
"What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector.
"Then I'd dash down out of the signal box," said Andy,"and I'd use the manual lever over there."
"What if that had been struck by lightning?"
"Then," Andy continues,"I'd run back into the signal box and phone the next signal box."
"What if the phone was engaged?"
"Well in that case," persevered Andy,"I'd rush down out of the box and use the public emergency phone at the level crossing up there." "What if that was vandalised?"
"Oh well then I'd run into the village and get my uncle Silas."
This puzzles the inspector, so he asks, "Why would you do that?"
Came the answer, "Because he's never seen a train crash."
Contributed by Shri Zaigham Ali Khan, ADAO/BCT/WR.

A secretary was leaving the office one Friday evening when she encountered Mr. Jones, the Chief Finance Officer, standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said Mr. Jones, "this is important, and my secretary has already left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the secreatry. She turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said Mr. Jones as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
>Contributed by Shri N.S.N.Murthy, DyCAO(G)/SCR.

The Personal Secretary to the Chief Finance Officer observed that every morning, the moment the CFO entered his room, he would walk to the window, pull the drapes aside, stare intently outside for a few minutes and then come and settle in his seat.
She had watched people mutter a prayer, but this was getting intriguing. She finally asked the boss what this was all about.
He took her to the window, pulled the drapes aside and said "See that tall Asoka tree on the left? and see that chimney on the right?"
"Yes, Sir"
"Well, I need to concentrate on the tree and the chimney to remember that debit is on the left and credit is on the right"
Contributed by Shri N.S.N.Murthy, DyCAO(G)/SCR.

Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were. The first man was an Engineer, the second was an Acccountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Worker. To show off, the engineer called to his dog, "T-Square, do your stuff." T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.
Everyone agreeed that was good.
But the Chemist said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that was good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Worker and said, What can your dog do?". The Government Worker called his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, dumped on the paper, assaulted the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe work conditions, put in for Worker's Compensation, and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
Contributed by Shri Zaigham Ali Khan, ADAO/BCT/WR.

Click on the image below to visit Shekhar Gurera's Rail Cartoons page, made on the occasion of 150th anniversary of Indian Railways
Shekhar Gurera's Cartoons made on the occasion of 150 Glorious Years of Indian Railways.

There is a feeling that IRAS officers are a humourless lot. To remove that impression, contributions are invited for this page in the following three categories:
Rail Humour.
Jokes/humourous anecdotes pertaining to railways/railroads in general or IR, in particular.
Humour in Bureaucracy.
The 'official' jokes; unless you feel that the bureaucracy is itself a big joke !
Pluses and Minuses.
Or credits and debits, if you would have it that way. Jokes/humourous anecdotes about the Accountant, the Accounts Officer, the Accounts Department or even the Finance Manager(since we may shortly get new designations).

Please ensure that the contributions are fit for publication in a forum of this type and their publication would not involve the webmaster and/or the contributor any copyright problems.

 
LAUGHS FROM LONDON
By S.M.Singru
- And She Blundered Into Greatness
- The Parrot Who Knew Too Much
- The Barman Who Drank Too Much
- Bureaucracy Shall Always Have The Last Laugh
- Is this being chicken-hearted?
- The Feminine Repartee
- Nothing is Impossible
- Painful But True
- Weight Watchers of the World
- Making it a Family Trait
- A Historic Blunder
- Academic, But Rather Smart
- The Unfortunate Bridegroom
- Thou Shalt Keep Thy Promise
- Consumers Could Be Crazy
- The Crime Circle
- God's Wish
- How Would Mills & Boon React to this?
- A Dog's Life
- Strange Justice
- The Invalid Confession
- God Also Helps Those Who Don't Help Themselves
- Who Does'nt Commit Mistakes
- Useful Research Findings
- What Did You Expect?
- Revenge, Sweet Revenge!
- Too Much Mobility
- A Desperate Investment
- When The Skies Open Up
- Oh! The Ways of Conmen!
- His Meat was Poison for the Umpire
- More Is Never Enough
- When Dame Luck Smiles
- A Bulky Proposition
- Bearish Sentiment
- Grumble, and I shall Lock You Up
- Rules Are Rules
- A Socialist Blooper
- All Due To An Absent-Minded Wife
- Juvenile, But Deadly
- The Painful Truth
- Not Minding One's Language
- Mindless, but Royal!
- At Last, A Washing Machine which Talks
- Very Encouraging, Indeed!
- Shun The Disease, Not The Name
- Lonely Hearts And Fertile Brains
- A Case of Divided Loyalty
- The Court's Seal
- A Sweet Tooth Has Its Uses
- Consultancy Pays
- Quo Vadis
- In Pursuit of Efficiency
- Another Change in Name
- He Sure Used His Head
- The Good Old Bed
- Oh Jesus !
- The Strong Headed Conductors
- The Parrot Therapy
- Pregnancy brings legal license
- Love Conquers Enmity
- The Posthumous Moustache
- Billiards is Morally Harmful
- This Wedding Was a Real Horror
- A Sure World Record
- TV Watching Injurious to Smoking
- What's in a name ?
- The Dimwit Robber
- The Frying Pan & the Fire
- The Hen & the Egg Problem
- Britain The Debtor
- The Night Off
- The Brazen Plea
- Watchers In Trouble
- The Great Mix-up
- Charged Prayers & Others
- Examination Rules
- Birthday Boy's Problem
- Help for Dozers
- Seeing is Believing
- MI5 - Fascinating Facts & Fiction
- A Case For Leniency
- Boss Management
- The Parental Dog
- The Paunch That Gave Him Away
- The Football Fever
- Letters to Editor
- The Mills of Law
- The Solitary Confinement
- One Track Mind
- Unguarded and Impolite
- There are no free lunches
- A Career Opportunity
- The Honoured Burgler
 
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